I was playing quiz in the facebook after ‘through out the day devotion’ on project to rejuvenate myself for I knew I was exhausted. Surfing helps, it recreates. The answer I got was “You have hurt someone with the initials N.W! It’s all your fault” I don’t know how far it is apt but it left me surprised. It drew me to my past for I could remember I hurt one Namkha. It was all that happened while we were 8th grader. It has been almost 9 years now. I didn’t meet her since then. We had parted our ways and treaded the pathway thus far. Namkha, I don’t know if you’re remembering me; but I swear I do remember you time and again. The time we spent together amidst fear of being seen by teachers gives me pleasure and reason to smile, even while I flip the chapter of our memory.
I just wildly hope the pain has subsided by now. Time might have taught you to be strong to find someone for I know you deserve. I am scared I had hurt you. You wouldn’t forgive me even I die regretting those moments I shared with you in sheer stupidity. Somewhere acknowledge the fact we jointly made the love to leave us. Don’t you think? I don’t know where you’re now but I still know you’re always dwelling in the warmer corner of my heart. You’ve established your place in it and I am flashing by the threshold every now and then, only to find you look hurt. I am sorry. You know the reason that wedged our relation. I wish you knew that at least!
I closed my eyes in front of my PC and watched myself as if through some other’s eyes growing young and my innocence returning, stealing every second to glance at you, holding the breathe to cope up the pain I sustained when I found I missed ‘eye contacts’ for sometimes you wouldn’t reciprocate, reading the sweet letters, with full of “tsangmos” a rustic gal would write epitomizing the romance of those eventful years….
I kept closing my eyes because I saw you beautifully popping up in my conscience with full of sad memories that keeps me haunting hitherto. I couldn’t afford to wide open my eyes until the helpless tears making its way out oozing profusely knowing Namkha’s timid palm wouldn’t come to wipe and rescue no matter how long I cry. I said, “I am sorry. Hope you understand. My prayers are with you.”
I kept closing my eyes because I saw you beautifully popping up in my conscience with full of sad memories that keeps me haunting hitherto. I couldn’t afford to wide open my eyes until the helpless tears making its way out oozing profusely knowing Namkha’s timid palm wouldn’t come to wipe and rescue no matter how long I cry. I said, “I am sorry. Hope you understand. My prayers are with you.”
At the end, I realized none of us will be the same as we will learn harsh truths about love and guilt thereby, and how chance can change our worlds irretrievably, forever!!!
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