SON OF A LESSER GOD'S VOICE

Memoirs of my Journey to School

2010-10-06T00:12:00.000-07:00

One of the sons, in our locality, has to stay attached with the parents and help them run the family, in a way grooming him to be the potential heir. This, however, has almost disappeared today down the shelf of tradition. Then, my parents thought of invoking the responsibility upon me. I was, hence, intentionally held back and ruled out the possibility of educating me. As a youngest son, I was loved, cared and pampered. It must have been because of these reasons, my parents couldn’t dare to loose me away to school for sending me school meant departing from their loved son. Many of my contemporaries couldn’t attend school because of these reasons.

The beauty of being a kid is the innocence. I was not an exception for I was as innocent as every child. The only thing I envied, then, was when I witnessed my parents sending my elder brothers to schools as early as six. I envied not because my brothers would be imparted education to live a decent life but because they were attired in new cloths when I had to retire, clothed in torn-rags, to thick jungles herding herds of cattle battling the ‘vampire’ leeches, battering the heat and adventuring the brunt of torrential precipitation where I only found bit of solace beneath the plastic sheet I was shielded by. Life as a Cow-herder was hard and it was indeed ‘yucking’ to always fade away into the thick jungles. To attend school, however, was not in the wildest of my dreams. I accumulated and mastered every skill a farmer would need to lead his life. I was young, pure and untainted farmer.

Destiny had its own mercy on me. Out of nowhere, a talk to send me to school cropped up. It was a month after having started the new academic year though. I faintly remember that my sister, who herself had nurtured grievances for having not sent to school, had spearheaded the idea. It was a blessing ‘u-turn’ to the life I was supposed to lead. Couple of days later, I remember descending down the hill along with my mother to Wooling Primary School. It was a barefoot walk. I could still recall how wild Hazelnut thorns pierced the callus of my foot. My mother ushered me to Headmaster’s office seeking my admission in PP. I remember her offering dozens of eggs and few Kgs of Butter and Cheese. Such offers were not uncommon during those days.

Headmaster quizzically studied me and outrightly rejected my admission. He was right. I was too old to be in PP. I was nine then. However helpless my mother felt, she was too tough to yield her determination easily. She sought the help of the then school Caretaker upon whose request the Headmaster accepted my admission. At that moment, I ‘childishly’ realized how things were working in this world, which still haunts me today. People who are similarly circumstanced as like me are bound to encounter thousands of injustices I met with. Poor and powerless are always overpowered; no one is considering their voices considerately. This is happening not just round the globe but at an alarming intensity across the sections of GNH Land-DrukYul, even today. This is the brief memoir of my journey to school.

The Essay I was examined on

2010-10-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

Mr. Pema Wangdi, final year undergraduate of the Bachelors Degree majoring in Applied Mathematics at Florida Institute of Technology, Melbourne, Florida, has reproduced my essay, I have written as a 11^th grader in Annual Examination English Paper One, in his blog “Lotus’s Perspective- My Life Away From Home” which can be accessed at http://empoweredlotus.blogspot.com.

It feels great to revisit the paper I was examined on. I was wondering if Mr. Pema could tell me how he could manage to get the paper, annual exam answer sheets, which were usually never shown to anyone. For this, he has his answer vividly scripted in facebook. I quote

“@Gyalpo: Yes, you had definitely written this essay, unless there was another Gyalpo Drukpa studying at Nangkor in that year, which we know was not the case. haha. Well, let me narrate the story here about how I bumped into your "English Answer Paper" while I was roaming around the Nangkor campus. It so happened that when I, with few friends, walking along the road running parallel to Yurungpa lam (path), I am sure you will remember there used to be a garbage pit right behind the Staff room, it was in that pit that I bumped into your paper. I thought I was on time to rescue your paper, when almost half of other fellows’ papers were lying charred! The marks you obtained stood out from rest of the papers, and caught my attention. Then I went on to read, and decided to include in my collection!” I would like to sincerely thank Mr. Pema who happened to be my junior for including it in his collection.

Amidst so many grammatical errors, when I read it now, I find I was trying to exude every bit of ‘negativities’ I could ‘prey’ on the parents and teachers. I might not have nurtured ill-thoughts toward teachers nor parents while I was essaying it, simply, I might have tried to justify the topic I was given to essay on. However, somehow when I read it now, I find I was revolutionarily toned and ‘been vocal’ in that essay.

I am reproducing it below. No proof reading is done and no edition is carried out to make it sound better. I am reproducing it just the way I had written it as a class 11 student then in 2004.

The Topic was:

“Parents and teachers teach children to always speak the truth. Not only is this unrealistic, it is also hypocritical.”

And I had written:

“Yes, indeed! Yes. To advice and instigate others to speak the truth has become almost like fashion. It is very unrealistic and to great extent hypocritical. In order to make other's mind bow, first and foremost thing, ones mind should be arrow. Before telling others, one should be perfect. But parents and teachers instigate students and children to speak the truth verbally. They, themselves are not perfect in this case. Our parents and our teachers teach the fatherhood of God without themselves acting the brotherhood of man.

Most of the parents of this advanced world are known evil. They are much more undignified and bounded by low personality. They are the one who spoke false before the society. They might have done many unwholesome deeds but how pathetic is it to find that, having themselves spoiled, they advise children to always speak the truth? Children has been staying with his/her parents by birth itself and thus he is bound to copy what his/her parents are doing. If parents are morally disciplined, the child would be as so. But if parents are morally ruined, it is definite and sure that child will be ruined similarly. A very pretty lie may be told by parents before his/her children. Suppose, if children wanted and demanded their parents to bring them a new trouser when they were leaving to somewhere, but on returning, he may convince his children that he has forgotten but not brought intentionally. Thus, children are the best copiers and they would copy it and next time the children will practice it. He or she will inherit the character of parents.

Similarly, teachers in the school are the parents of children. Taking the responsibilities of parents, they always advices students to tell the truth and even penalize them for having told lies. This is really hypocrisy. Teachers seem dignified in the school premises, but outside they are acting like barbarians. They tell the lie if it is needed and acts in violent manner if it is needed. Teachers are the lender of last resort of students, thus, if having themselves undisciplined, how can his students listen to them? First thing, he should act what he says. Teacher should be an epitome to students and children so that they may act and shape their future.

For instance, some teachers take leave from school leaving his students in vain, intentionally pretending that there are some genuine reasons after feeling bored in teaching. But in fact, they are just going for loitering somewhere else like an undignified man. Also in some cases, teachers are found lying and boasting in the subject matters. They act as if they know all neglecting to research further. Thus, they misguides and mishandles the human brain. Some teachers wait for bribe from students for some matters. They take partiality to some students. They themselves saying that to take partial is sin, yet they themselves are involving in unwholesome deeds.

Thus, parents and teachers of modern world may say anything from mouth. It is very easy to say than to be done. They convinces children and students to say this and that but it is just paradox. Hence, the instigation of parents and teachers to speak truth is not only unrealistic but hypocritical to great deal. Coincidence in words and actions may be found in rare cases but majority of the cases are paradoxical and hypocritical.” Courtesy Pema Wangdi [http://empoweredlotus.blogspot.com]

If you [readers] were my English Teacher at that point of time, what is the mark the essay is worth of? Locate the grammatical errors in it and leave the corrections and mark you might have given as a comment below.

….the morning that should be…Blessed Rainy Day is back..

2010-09-23T01:41:00.000-07:00

23^rd September 2010, the Blessed Rainy Day that transcends every section of Bhutanese Society is back again. Greetings to all of my fellow citizens. Wish you a wonderful Thrue Baab.

Here in Hyderabad, nostalgic self made a point to wake up early. I went out of the room heaving-in the fresh morning air to check if the bucket I left at the Courtyard the other night had collected blessed rain water to rinse my body so that the external dirt is cleansed, whisk away the misfortunes, troubles, worries and at the extreme, purify the sins I have committed by the blessed drops of rain I have harvested in the Bucket.

I was confident with the mindset that blessed rain not only rains in

Bhutan

but the entire world on this auspicious day. I was never deprived of this. I saw inky clouds have thickened the air. It was unusually cloudy outside teasing the bucket I had left wide open with occasional kiss of showers. It made my day; indeed a Blessed Rainy Day. I took shower chanting ‘thrue…thrue…thrue…thrueee…’ the legacy my parents ordained me to adhere. I closed my eyes and wished….I wish I were at home to share the festivity of this joyous day!

The very morning was marked just the way it should have been. We endeavored to entwine-in totally ‘Bhutanese’ in everything that was in our menu. A mouth-wateringly delicious pork ‘Thukpa’ was prepared by Namgay Om and Chencho Om who graciously sacrificed their sleeps to have it ready on time. It was totally Bhutanese in taste. The aroma of the ‘Thukpa’ wafting in the air around was mischievously hard for everyone’s nose to shunt away with. Every one felt an urge to surge it down the throat. Everybody hummed…“it’s yummy”..having gorged in the much awaited Bhutanese cuisines. ‘Dresi’ was the other thing in our menu. Energetic and enthusiast manager of ours, Tshering Dorji, churned ‘Suja’ for almost half of the hour. A sip of it was refreshing, rejuvenating and absolutely ‘homecoming’ for it reminded our homes. ‘Dzaw’ and ‘Sip’ were the other items that were in our Menu. I salute everyone for initiating and materializing the bit of our plan successfully.

We marked the day as it ought to have been. As a Bhutanese, wherever we are, we embrace the occasions we celebrate back home; we stay attuned to the whole gamut of our traditions and keep our national flag ‘fluttering high’ through the rhythm of breathe we inhale and exhale.

Had it been holiday, we could have resorted to ‘Khuru’, which unfortunately was not. After Thukpa session in the early hours of the day, we waded off to our respective classes.

Tashi Deleck

Good things come at huge cost

2010-09-08T01:58:00.000-07:00

I remember Isaac Newton’s third law of motion “for every action there is an equal and opposite re-action.” Drawing an analogy from it, there is a collateral damage in every action we ensue, or rather has always been! Good things don’t come for free. It comes for a cause with cost. The other night I bumped into facebook status of one of my friends. It read “knowledge doesn’t come for free”. He must have hinted the pecuniary burdens on this privatized education system that has adversely sidelined the economically weak ‘aspiring lots’ to have an easy access to education, just the way like any other thick-pocked lots.

It could be a common man’s reasonable view that when one is having a particular goal set to achieve, come what may, one doesn’t care what comes on his way. The goal comes at a collateral damage, however. In economic parlance, ‘opportunity cost’ can be dovetailed in here. The next best alternatives have to be given up to have the best on our court.

While good thing has happened to me lately, I had no choice but to forgo and forfeit some of the beautiful persons in this world. You guys never faltered as the one you are which I adored the most.

I made an option not to prolong the revelation for I count that earlier I reveal the facts lesser you guys would be hurt. If you guys are reading this piece, I wouldn’t wonder for having you found me mean for I left you people in pursuit of my happiness and the best for me….and as the truth unfurls, I got to admit I had been mean.

I left not because I found you ‘guys’ not the best, you were the best, but I was just not worth you guys and the world you guys live in. May be I made a better option for it definitely forestalled our ‘otherwise would have been disastrous’ future. Life can be lived once only for it cannot be remapped and thus the way we approach it ought not to be mistaken.

Ultimately, everything boils down the point that good things come at cost. It gets painful at times though and so I am. Hope time heals everything…fingers crossed..

I am sorry, people

2010-09-07T00:15:00.000-07:00

When the given thing doesn’t get submerged, one is compelled to negotiate other alternatives. I was making a point to attend International Trade law class until I found it too monotonously toned and intricately woven by the fibers of legal jargons and issues I found way difficult to comprehend. The weather outside was cloudy and raining mildly, but in an incessant fashion that propelled me to reminisce the life I had sailed thus far. Deep down me I started visiting my past.

Things I did as a younger-self started flashing by, pondering of which some of them made me remorse. Nonetheless, most of the memories, for sure, cater a smiley curve on my otherwise grim face.

However, I find it devastating remembering the fact I had captained during my school days. This was the memory I wriggled against while I was in the class. I am sure I have faltered as a captain. I might have ended up hurting some of you while adjudicating the duties I was obliged to shoulder on.

I deeply remorse for all the mean things I might have said, I am sorry for all the things I did or didn’t do what I ought or ought not to have done as a Captain. I apologize for having made you all feel bad. I can only wish you guys could understand I was ordered and commanded to do the things I have done.

Apology is offered not because I did all wrong deeds that jeopardized your well beings but because I think I ‘might’ have had inadvertently ended up hurting you all for the fact being I captained you’ll. I am truly sorry.

Beyond Family: Angels in Human Form

2010-09-07T00:12:00.000-07:00

I heard someone saying outsiders are way helpful, kinder than one's own relatives. No wonder, I wondered how it could be believable, believe worthy! Change in what one has believed happens for a reason. I have to admit I didn’t believe in someone saying that.

The truth is that now I believe in what I have heard ‘someone’ casually saying. There is truth in it, wisdom in it, well thought-out truly truth-laden words they are! I got immense of ‘helps’ from people I barely know. May be they are too divine to have sensed the difficulties I was wrestling against. I met them online around couple of years ago but I didn’t anticipate our relation will be bloomed up to this degree.

I did ask my siblings for help to no avail. Yes, the world has better people to offer. Two important ladies of mine have just drawn the curtains on the stage of financial drought. This has indeed given a confidence to believe in what I actually heard someone saying. It is true, I realized it is. At times, outsiders are way nicer than one’s closed ones. Thank you the two saviors of mine! Your meritorious aid will always be engraved in my heart with a wish to help you guys back one fine day. Salute!!!

Love, Separation, Pain….

2010-02-11T23:09:00.001-08:00

Probably I was destined to pen down this ‘pain’. Despite hectic schedule I was shackled to, I hopped in to visit some of the prolific bloggers’ page. “Agony of Valentine’s Day” by spontaneous writer Tashi P Ganzin, seriously hooked me up. Perusing through, somewhere I was stuck, how is that being ‘Single’ and ‘Alone in love’ differ? I categorise them as one and the same. While Tashi is, atleast, having Almighty as her valentine, it is my bad luck I am alone in love, staying thousands of miles far from someone I dearly love. It is worse than being single, believe me, thinking of having someone to staywith when she is not actually beside you is way far worst. Indeed, coping with separation especially when we are in love can be one of the hardest experiences life hands us.

I live on without her by my side, the mornings greet me and the nights bid me to sleep, and yet, their sweetness is not just the same as of those being with her. Deep down me there is always a feeling of something missing, emptiness… I just wish like having the most tedious days of life which in a way will keep me engaged to fill a void that is always present within me. But as the day slows down, the memory of her catches up, the longing of my aching heart begin to creep up within and the hope that someday both of us will be together again is the only thing that keeps me going.

However alone in love I am, however desperate I seem to spend Valentine’s day, every other second, minute, hour and day with her, somewhere I noticed time and separation is actually strengthening our love for I know it is not an infatuation which gets weakened with time, distance and separation. I am happy for I sustain a great pain because a pain of separation only happens when we are in true love. I am convinced ours is a true love. Truer the love greater the pain is something I learnt through this separation.

“There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you.”

I am alive

2010-01-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

It has been quite a time I surfed my Page. Nonetheless, I am back, I am alive and I will update. It was neither an exile nor self-imposed isolation but ‘impossibility’ left me cut off, absolutely! I couldn’t access internet from the countryside I belong, the facility I desperately missed. I knew how much I was kept engaged, informed, and exposed consistently only when I was left deprived of accessing such human-filth-dimension- the Internet.

Now I come again wishing you all a very happy and prosperous year 2010 ahead. Hope the regrets we had in the year 2009 will revamp our determinations for 2010, which I am pretty sure, will be farreachingly successful. ‘Loads’ of expectations are being hoarded in every one of us. Hence, let’s nurture them. Tashi Deleck!!!

Back Home

2009-11-13T01:45:00.001-08:00

It has been a week having thronged in myself to Thimphu Town. I find it chillingly cold. The freezing breeze of Thimphu valley is giving me tough time. It is so cold, you can’t believe me.
I started joining Royal Court of Justice, High Court since yesterday, 12th November, 2009. I am interning which would span for a month and half. The environment in and around court seems so dreadful. I find every litigant bowed in respect, wrapped in their Kabneys and Rachus. Sometimes one is forced to wonder how one could put up the arguments when they themselves are shattered.
However, I feel good to be at home. I like being in Thimphu. I find myself free from academic pressures. I pride our capital progressing in every field. It is developing uniquely.
The irony, however is, I can’t go to my village. I crave to meet my old parents in vain. They live miles away in east. Nothing much can be done than accepting it. Within a wink’s time, the day to depart the town is sure to come. Thinking of this leaves me haunted.

Happiness in fifty Paise

2009-10-30T23:56:00.000-07:00

As the ‘Guwahati Express’ chugs on at 7:30 AM tomorrow, I am destined to witness facets of inequalities the world has got to offer. The need of guts to travel in the train, especially, if you are one in the Sleeper Class is disturbingly not an exaggeration, at least to me.

We get to see so many disheartening things going on around the world. Do you think begging is oldest profession on earth? Most of us would be affirmatively toned. All kinds of beggars whose period of begging spans from five minutes to years can be seen within the bogies of the train. One can’t help wondering if they are beggar by choice. The answer seems too mysterious to comprehend.

Blind men playing melodious flute through his nose, the elderly, the disabled, the Lepers and Destitute having graduated to this profession, Lamed traversing the compartments on his shrunken butt who always wishes for the limbs, Amputees heart-renderingly appealing to the passengers with is innocent eyes, Juvenile as young as five mopping the floors to whom parenting seem too alien, eunuchs who rule the train setting the minimum from each Rs. 10 which leave travelers disgruntled enough to complain ‘that is quite a loot’, etc, etc, etc.

While, for some, begging seems the only option, some are admittedly suspicious and deceptive though. They are everywhere- on trains, at traffic signals, peering into taxi windows, bedraggled, haggard and breaking into a sudden smile when a few coins are dropped into their palms. A fifty paise contribution on our part makes the unfortunates smile revealing their never ever brushed ‘once in a while got edible particles tainted’ on their teeth. This is their happiness in fifty paise.

The journeys ensue leaving so much of helplessness firmly rooted in its depth within me. Nothing much can be done than accepting, lamenting, and realizing the harsh realties dovetailed in the form of inequalities. I have already hoarded the coins and I will contribute bit of it to each of them. Hundreds of them, before I wrap up my destination, are for sure to come by. Come what may, I can’t afford to turn them away.

In between, I am too fragile that every such journey leaves me wounded somehow sometime, finding myself shackled by the memories of the miseries those unfortunates I encountered are writhing through.

Chi Wa Mi Tak Pa

2009-10-29T01:26:00.001-07:00

Studying and excelling for the past 18 years become useless if one has to get squeezed by cruel death. There is no value, believe me, it’s shocking and saddening.

We are mourning the sudden demise of one 5^th year student [Indian]. I saw him sipping coffee the other night around 10 pm in the University Cafeteria. Not even in the wildest dream I had expected his sudden death. Today morning his body was found gone cold fully succumbed. He was found dead.

His premature and sudden demise has left the University shocked and emotionally pained. We pity him for he had to go all those hardships and strains to get leaped to the highest pedestal-5^th year, the Final Year, only to die on the eve of the most anticipated graduation.

The cause of death is yet to be ascertained though many have speculated suicide abetted by the stress accrued from overburdening semester could be one potential catalyst behind. Foul play couldn’t be ruled out either. Our remaining exams got rescheduled toward the beginning of next semester.

I pray his departed soul rest in peace and may the Almighty grace him and the bereaved family of the demised peace. He’ll be remembered as a friend, a mate and as a fellow being. He’s not alone. It is only the matter of time. We, ultimately, will tread the same ‘can’t be abandoned’ route.

May his soul REST IN ETERNAL PEACE!

Two More to Go

2009-10-28T06:20:00.001-07:00

As of now, I have given three papers. Questions on Intellectual Property Rights weren’t that tough. Answering them interested me rather. And yeah, I am satisfied. I am expecting to fetch good grade in it. Yesterday was the paper which I could count it as “Green Paper”. I mean it was Environmental law. It was too much for me to complete and zoom within two and half hours. It wasn’t good; it wasn’t bad either. Today was the paper each of us got nicely grilled! It was corporate law. I can’t imagine its bulkiness. By the end of the paper, I looked horribly tired.

However, I have got two papers still. Tomorrow is the Labour Law-II and day after, I would get liberated from the claws of this semester with Interpretation of Statutes and Judicial Process, the paper many consider toughest. Meanwhile, the excitement to be in Bhutan soon is flushing off every toll of the exam.

It is the fault of Facebook Developer

2009-10-22T00:33:00.001-07:00

End semester exam kicks off from 26^th. Today I witnessed a weird but worth attention drawing dialogue. One junior of mine from Kolkata was found approaching his Batch Mates urging very cunningly backed by persuasive weight on the words he used, to have a ‘mass bunk’ from the class. This, according to him, is to study peacefully and prepare for the exam without distraction in their respective rooms and library. He was saying, “Hey Guys, let’s bunk. I’ve not done anything for the exam.”

Friend of mine was sharp enough to point, “it’s your fault you haven’t studied man” not knowing his sharpness would soon get blunt. He was never to be beaten. He came out with very diplomatic answer. He said, “It’s not my fault, dude. It is the fault of our generation.” He spilled the blame further while he continued, “it’s fault of those who developed Facebook, gtalk, Yahoo Messenger, twitter, etc...”

His message was strongly worded, distressingly genuine and yeah! It was spine-chillingly ominous warning. I find his words intricately woven so much to make us reflect how much we spend our time touring the cyber world. We tend to remain engaged surfing net for good chunk of our time forgetting the rudimentary duties we are obliged to execute.

It especially happens to netizens who could access the filth of internet lately, who got exposed to it in recent years of their life. I am not an exception either. I am pathetic surfer.

While appreciating the issue he brought casually, it makes so much of sense. I firmly believe that it is our own onerous duty to balance the countervailing interests. I don’t feel sorry for him either for I am also into it.

Exam around the threshold

2009-10-19T04:10:00.001-07:00

It has been a five months voyage and I am yet to anchor safely. Semester had been tight, deadlines to be met were more in numbers than I could count even, had to pull through quite a times of brain grilling sessions, etc. Nevertheless, I could bulldoze unwaveringly without an iota of ingredients that will later make me ponder ‘I could have done better’. I am kind of satisfied.

However, my semester voyage is yet to anchor and conquer the destination. End semester exam is happening from 26^th and hardly left five days to go. “Five days”, however, will be just a wink’s time. I am heavily engaged these days.

Amidst terribly yoked, a rigour is still left in me to smile graciously for I see our DrukYul looming at the horizon. This is not a mirage! I am coming home soon. I have got an internship. I am eagerly looking forward to learn and experience until now unexperienced ground realities in and around my Profession.

Thank you, visit again!!!

Dad got nearly poached

2009-10-16T05:29:00.001-07:00

Human beings are real fangless witch. We condemn other beings to death for filling our belly. We have got in place Wild Life Protection Acts, which no way seems deterring our fellows from poaching. Unfortunate lives forgo in the altar of our hunger and greed.

This time of the year is the moment the ‘protruded ribbed’ Himalayan Bears most assailed by the dreadfully poisoned-hidden arrows on the path it reaches the stream for a sip of water that quenches the devouring thirst, that are being stationed by the ruthless poachers. Scores of Bears are silently poached at this time of the year in our part of the Country.

Upon these backdrops, I narrate an episode that garnered heavy emotional torture which took me down the distress and pain. I was deeply pained. It proved fatal sympathizing and empathizing the pain of others when you very much know you’re not abled enough to make other’s pain subside. I bet, sympathy without ability to help is terribly traumatizing and painful.

It was 16^th November, 2006; I got call from my sister at home. The message she was putting to me took me down instantly. It was a bombshell that tremored everything irretrievably in me. I was told he was hit by poacher’s hidden-arrow and pierced across his knee-joint. I felt a jerk of writhing pain.

Reader’s possibility of taking my dad for one of the poachers can’t be ruled out. Therefore, to prevent your goodselves being swayed by the presumptions, it is pertinent to clarify the same. No, he is absolutely not. He is white-haired, wrinkled, and feeble figured succumbing to age 72 years old.

He forayed the thick subtropical jungle battering heat and rain, herding herd of cattle only to intrude himself to ‘Sang Da’ [Gakh we call in sharchop], kept waiting for a hapless bear to pull the string to get the arrow kicked off.

Before poison outdid his body, he ran to the stream, battled for life by removing the piercing sharp arrow. The poison, however, unfastened and left inside the wound, for which he had to insert his finger to remove them. Ouch! You could imagine the pain. He then rinsed with the water spilling it through the tunnel of wound.

While he was still in the grip of his consciousness, he could call his co-herders and after two grueling hours, he was somehow dragged to home. It was then 6 PM.

Fact being that my village located at the far-flung countryside hill that is being perched on the shoulder of ‘Yongla Gonpa’, minimum nine hours walk from roadhead Dewathang, medical facilities can’t be accessed very easily. You meet grievous injurious; you only pray and keep the fingers-crossed for good. He was carried to nearest Basic Health Unit, which took around six hours, making horrified journey crossing the torrentially falling rivers and trudging the uphill footpath, guided their feet from being ran into unmindful boulders only by kerosene lamps, breaking the silence of the dark night by an incessant cry of my poor mom and sister, when the world was still sleeping.

I kept calling only to find the cell not reachable for obvious reasons. Even technology fails to reach the labyrinth of deep jungled horrendous gorges. I heaved a relief at 1 AM when I was informed about dad being treated. Next day, he was referred to Dewathang Military Hospital in critical condition.

The very next morning I started my journey to see my dad. I couldn’t believe my dad has grown too fragile and reduced to pale ‘last minute before death’ like appearance. Every attempt on his part to utter something to me brought him pain, and I felt the pain he was experiencing for I could notice him holding his breathe. I found him sobbing silently and indeed, ‘that’ arrow has incapacitated my dad to cry even. I wasn’t better either.

He, somehow, recovered after having confined to bed in hospital ward for one month. However, he was lamed. While endangering the wildlives being one issue, collateral damage sustained therefrom, is another. As expected, culprit went uncaught, guilty lapsed unproved, so on and so forth, but this is the world we live in.

The End

It means a lot, Brother

2009-10-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

I last saw my brother five years ago. Since then, opportunity didn’t tilt its favour for us to get together. I confide he was the filthiest and the most uncompassionate young man at 17, the year he was ordained into monkhood. Today, I am the most proud younger. He is one divine flame. I have every reason for it.

World wouldn’t accept people like him has undergone sea change, my most adored Ata. Stressing the environment we grew up with starkly aggravated and extenuated by the fact of being illiterate at that point of time, he poached the wild lives up the pristine mountainous regions and fished down the shores of crystal pure innocent meandering rivers. He was sinned and tainted good chunk of first seventeen years of his life with notoriety. He thrived most in doing mundane things.

But divinity intervened, spiritualism got seeded, destiny outlasted the means, Triple Gem augured him and thus the ladder to salvation and enlightenment was unfurled and yes, he made divine choice. This year is his sixteenth year at ‘Nga Jur Ngyingma’ University pursuing his master’s degree. Within these many span of years, he nurtured metamorphosis and hence, I see him as changed, tonsured for good but very simple monk who insurmountably dedicates his life for the well being of all sentient beings that remained tagged in this ‘samsara’ since time immemorial. People change; so was my brother.

Yesterday I got one locket and portrait of Rinpoche, his spiritual master and that threw me to the kind of emotion difficult to describe within the confines of the language I am up to. Every emotion blended, tears rolled down the cheek while I was still smiling; sadness clouded brooding the memories of our common past while seeing him as one today made me happy and proud.

Tears that were triggered into fruition from the mixture of emotions fell on the beautifully scripted “from Bro. Khotsa” on hind side of the neatly tugged envelope; making blue inked phrase little hazy as it spread a little due to tears of pride, proud, sadness, happiness, gratitude, thankfulness… that fell upon only to make me realize how much it means to me. This will go down my memory lane and I will cherish it in eternity.

Ata! It means a lot to me; a ‘lot’ that is invaluable. Your success is mine. Wish you every success in every footstep you take!

I had hurt her

2009-10-10T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was playing quiz in the facebook after ‘through out the day devotion’ on project to rejuvenate myself for I knew I was exhausted. Surfing helps, it recreates. The answer I got was “You have hurt someone with the initials N.W! It’s all your fault” I don’t know how far it is apt but it left me surprised. It drew me to my past for I could remember I hurt one Namkha. It was all that happened while we were 8^th grader. It has been almost 9 years now. I didn’t meet her since then. We had parted our ways and treaded the pathway thus far. Namkha, I don’t know if you’re remembering me; but I swear I do remember you time and again. The time we spent together amidst fear of being seen by teachers gives me pleasure and reason to smile, even while I flip the chapter of our memory.

I just wildly hope the pain has subsided by now. Time might have taught you to be strong to find someone for I know you deserve. I am scared I had hurt you. You wouldn’t forgive me even I die regretting those moments I shared with you in sheer stupidity. Somewhere acknowledge the fact we jointly made the love to leave us. Don’t you think? I don’t know where you’re now but I still know you’re always dwelling in the warmer corner of my heart. You’ve established your place in it and I am flashing by the threshold every now and then, only to find you look hurt. I am sorry. You know the reason that wedged our relation. I wish you knew that at least!

I closed my eyes in front of my PC and watched myself as if through some other’s eyes growing young and my innocence returning, stealing every second to glance at you, holding the breathe to cope up the pain I sustained when I found I missed ‘eye contacts’ for sometimes you wouldn’t reciprocate, reading the sweet letters, with full of “tsangmos” a rustic gal would write epitomizing the romance of those eventful years….
I kept closing my eyes because I saw you beautifully popping up in my conscience with full of sad memories that keeps me haunting hitherto. I couldn’t afford to wide open my eyes until the helpless tears making its way out oozing profusely knowing Namkha’s timid palm wouldn’t come to wipe and rescue no matter how long I cry. I said, “I am sorry. Hope you understand. My prayers are with you.”

At the end, I realized none of us will be the same as we will learn harsh truths about love and guilt thereby, and how chance can change our worlds irretrievably, forever!!!

Domestic Violence: The Menace of the Gendered World

2009-10-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

No matter what ‘family’ flashes our mind every now and then. Family is one place where we seek love, safety, security and shelter. But for some unfortunates, it is also a place that imperils lives, and breeds some of the most drastic forms of violence against our sisters.

It is traumatically disheartening to find that our mothers and sisters are often in great danger in the place where they should be safest: within their families. For many of them, ‘home’ is where they face a regime of terror and violence at the hands somebody close to them-somebody they should be able to trust. They are rendered incompetent to rationalize their own decisions, voice their own opinions or protect themselves and their children for fear of something bad-further repercussions. This in a way grossly violates their human rights and their lives are stolen from them by the ever-present threat of violence.

Domestic violence is the global epidemic happening within the domestic spheres, which kills, tortures, and maims physically, sexually, psychologically and economically. Violence against women is present everywhere cutting across boundaries of culture, class, education, income, ethnicity and age.

Bhutan has hence not been exempted even though the country boasts the absence of it. It has been a growing cause of worry in Bhutan. However, the stereotypical trend we witness is the internalization of domestic violence. Most of them go unreporting and this is truly wrong. This internalization happens mainly because our women are not aware of the rights they have. Nonetheless, the issue has been cautiously pursued by women as they become aware of the associated rights, NCWC, National Women’s Association of Bhutan, REWA, and Rehabilitation Centres. But one area where we can critique is that such redressal mechanisms hardly rich the rural women who face the peak brunt of violence accrued from their illiteracy.

I just keep fingerscrossed I could do something when I become simple lawyer. This is my dream. I will cherish it and get to you all, my sisters! I keep praying your rights under CEDAW are materialized, your rights enshrined under our Constitution are duly protected, and your entitlements under various legislations be realised

The achievement of such would go a long way in revamping the societal equality and the attitude of humanity. The intrinsic and instrumental part you could play is enforcing your rights judiciously and taking due cognizance of your various rights which are found in abundance in our laws.

My wishes are with you all. I am always and ever with you all and stand united to eradicate the domestic menace-Domestic Menace. Let’s done away with it, Angels!

Marrying to Divorce

2009-10-05T03:52:00.000-07:00

Are we living in a disposable society; once we are bored of something or no longer “need” it, we throw it away and get a new one? Someway marriage has been personified as a sacred rite; the union of two souls traveling the pathway of life as one. This union is (suppose to be) one that should not be broken and the dissolution of such union are often frowned upon. The utterance, “until death do us part,” becomes an unbreachable contract!

Of all the changes in family life during the 20th century, perhaps the most dramatic- and the most far-reaching in its implications was increase in the rate of divorce. It was during my internship in Bench III, Thimphu District Court, Royal Court of Justice, I knew, one of the most litigated cases in Bhutan is matrimonial cases within which divorce case has been found rampant. It is an unfortunate reality of Bhutanese society today that divorce has become a completely commonplace thing. The piece I am writing, though may not be engaging, is intended to share some of the truths related to dissolution of marriage. Indeed, the accumulated thoughts on it suggest that marital dissolution has the potential to create considerable turmoil in people’s lives.

Not to say there shouldn’t be divorce, people like me however found it tough to witness tears in the eyes of ‘would-be left out’ spouses, ‘inconsolable’ cute-little children on mothers’ back playing and crying when he/she doesn’t know what is happening-Divorce-a matrimonial thunder that splits family! The sense of utter sadness, loneliness, hurt, bitterness, anger, disappointment, betrayal, fear, on innocent spouse to be ‘left-out’ are unbearably seen. What on earth will be worse than one gets betrayed by the person who you married taking absolutely positive that he/she was the one for you but found people are not always what you think and hope for them to be?
What more Court can do when one spouse doesn’t agree to reconcile matrimonial breakdown than to pass down Divorce Decree? People wonder not able to understand how in the world things work in the court systems sometimes. They find it really sickening. But justice has to be delivered within the confines of law in black and white laid down by the law makers of the Nation.

This tragic-ridden social phenomenon that is seen growing menacingly in our society left me wondering, ‘Do people marry only to get divorced without considering how traumatic and devastating it will be to children from their wedlock, when they grow competent enough to understand that there is such social institution as ‘family’ webbed by the presence of ‘Apa’ and ‘Ama’, only to find one of them has inhumanely abandoned them long time ago?’

I can’t help lamenting and I almost wailed loudly to have noticed by someone near me!!!

If I Die trying to pull through the Semester

2009-10-04T02:06:00.001-07:00

Buddha taught us to remember the fact we got to die anytime anywhere. The only certain thing is to die. But ‘when’ is uncertain. We are taught so that the fear of death and its consequence of having us sent to the hell and get brutally tortured aftermath will keep us abreast doing good deeds. Thus, remembering If I Die, I try not to get involved in the notorious things which would accrue me bad deeds, refrain from lying, stop taking lives of other beings for I know all of them should be given the chance to flourish in their own way,…and the lists would go…I really try doing some good wholesome stuffs that would keep me shackled toward accumulating meritocracy.

Meanwhile, if life outlasts me, tell my parents, I had always loved them, always thought of rewarding them, thought of being with them, thought of dinning with them, thought of wiping their tears from their wrinkled eyelids, thought of placing mouthwatering favorite cuisines in their plates……I enjoyed being with them. Just help me reach those words to my parents. Tell my gal I had always loved her and had fathomed of being with her for eternity. Tell her I feel sorry for I lied I will be by her side for ever. Tell her I didn’t know the fate would take its own cruel course….

The ardent helper will be appreciated. Narrate them the cause of my death is the ‘exhaustion’ owed from overworking to pull through so many deadlines that I had to meet to get over with the semester. Hard work kills, people!!! Weigh and balance yourself so that you don’t have to follow the way I steered. I am gone!!!!!!

The Journey to be remembered...

2009-10-02T08:46:00.000-07:00

....I was reminded of truck drivers being harsh when in all humility I requested them to give me lift till Nangkor junction from Mongling, how I had trudged over serene and 'make-u-feel- alleviated-elevated' hill mongling for six long years, and my all alone journeys through virgin forest, 'so-called Yeti-infested Mountain Rigompa', following the mercy of beaten jungle path (almost deserted in peak summer for leeches) when solitude of the forest was only disturbed occasionally by the hoarse croaking of bull-frogs, and now and then the twitter of birds in utter sweet melodious sounds or the rustle of a few timid squirrels...when still confused how I should counter tigers, bears…it was a journey to be remembered and an adventure to be celebrated...

The lectures I am not attentive

2009-09-30T05:07:00.000-07:00

I fathom a lot. It crucially happens the moment the lectures start, drawing myself to absolutely unique and different world. It’s peculiar I don’t grasp what professors have to say.
I voyage back to abyss of my past and there, I find lost lamenting the way I grew up.
My friends screech the iron chairs adjusting their posture in a way that comforts their attention to the professors. That boomerangs me back to my actual world. “Guilt must be proved beyond reasonable doubt”, was one important point I could hear my Criminal Law Professor speaking. Ohh! That indeed makes sense! I thought.

Professor’s articulate voice, once again, started receding like sound of ebbing waves and I found myself helplessly drowning to the mysterious and opaque future-fathoming so many stuffs that would significantly have bearing on my life…..Bell rings signaling the end of class.
Shit! I am being stupid; I could learn nothing. Never mind…next class and the day dream continues

Earthquake!!!

2009-09-23T09:31:00.000-07:00

Earthquake wrecked my Country. It plagued hard the eastern part of Bhutan claiming lives and properties. The irony is, it just happened on the eve of the most celebrated Blessed Rainy Day shattering everyone’s dream and joy down the drain. It dwindled and doomed the charm of the day.

Nothing much can be done than accepting the wrath of nature. My prayers and wishes are with those unfortunates who were victimized. May their soul rest in peace. I am deeply saddened for my fellow citizens had to go that way! You people will be missed, remembered and I will always mourn your absence from our country.
May such thing never happen in Future.

Thruue Baab: The Blessed Rainy Day

2009-09-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

A year older! ‘Thruue’ has come again for the Bhutanese Community with much experience. The cabinet resurrected the National Holiday. Kudos!

22nd September, 2009, will be the day with difference. Loved ones will be missed. Being away from home bitterly sabotages the sense of festivity. Nonetheless, I will take ceremonious bath to clean and rinse the dirt and guilt embedded within my conscience.

Celebrating the day, kicking off with the traditional ‘mom-made’ porridge and ‘suja’ early in the very dawning of the day, sitting in circular facing one another along with my parents and siblings on a tableless-chairless shingled flat will deadly be missed. Those ‘Thruue Baabs’ we played ‘Khuru’, Archary, etc, will be remembered.

However, all Bhutanese in Hyderabad made it a point to gather together and mark the day. ‘Thruue’ is never forgotten. The only difference we anticipate is Buffet dinner for home-made dishes; football for traditional games.

A very happy Blessed Rainy Day. Make sure the moment the sun is beyond the horizon, you are able to wonder you enjoyed the day ‘a lot’. My wishes are with you Guys. Enjoy and rejuvenate yourself for the ‘losar’ season which just started beaconing around us.

HAPPY BLESSED RAINY DAY!